I feel myself breaking down. I feel like giving up. But I won’t. My body feels like an empty gas tank. And the only fuel I got… is my heart. My heart keeps telling me to go and keep going. What makes me question… is my heart right? Am I headed towards the right way. I don’t know. I really don’t. Am I talented enough? I feel like I am. Am I right? I don’t know. Do I work hard enough? I feel like I work harder than 90% of the people in this world. Am I right? Who knows. Only god can tell.

I haven’t had a official working job since December 2004. Do I need a regular job? Yeah I do. Do I want a regular job? No I don’t. I worked at a Wholesale Insurance Brokerage for 5 years and the whole time there. I felt like I was wasting my time. Is it time to say fuck it, let me get a regular job? Yeah it is. I tried. It’s just hard to find someone to hire somebody dat hasn’t officially worked since 2004. What am I doing right now for money? I’m working at a part time job for a home loan consultant. And we all know how that market is. FUCKED UP. So Im losing a lot of hours cause of that. 

Is music paying me the money that I need now? No it doesn’t. Why doesn’t it? I really don’t know. Why am I still doing music if I’m struggling so much? Because music is all I have going for me. What keeps me going? My LOVE and PASSION for music, and that is what is hurting me. It became my life. It’s my dream. But I gotta keep going. I gotta keep moving.